Celebrating a Milestone Birthday in München
MY HISTORY — ORIGINALLY POSTED 2/21/2024 ON INSTAGRAM@THEPOINTOFYOU
Happy birthday to me! 🥳 2 weeks in Munich, Jan 2024. My home away from home.
A bit of my Germany story is below the photos … including why I was called back for this milestone birthday and the parts of me I went to retrieve.
[ADDED SEPTEMBER 19, 2025]
In the 90’s, I spent 3 years living in Munich, Germany. Since my ballet days, I had I always been drawn to living, working and traveling throughout Europe. PTSD, after narrowly escaping a fire (at the wedding of my closest friends, on an island off the coast of North Carolina) had pushed me off my hamster-wheel-of-life. A few months later, I quit my job as Advertising Director/Inside Sales for MacWEEK. This move surprised a lot of higher ups at corporate (Ziff Davis Publishing Company) who knew how valuable I was, so I was asked to meet with the VP of Human Resources (who happened to be a woman) for an exit interview. When I told her my dream — after also sharing about dysfunction with a male colleague who was supposed to be a partner but stated outright that his primary goal was to prove I was not his equal, which he ultimately did, but not the way he hoped — she said “The VP of International is looking for someone who does what you do. Would you like to speak with him?” The next day, I had a phone interview, and two days later I was on a plane to Munich, ZD’s International headquarters, for in-person interviews (and some skiiing!). A month later, all of my belongings were put into storage, and I was headed to Munich with 2 pieces of luggage … one large suitcase full of professional clothing and one large backpack for hiking around Europe.
When I arrived, I knew two German words, bitte and danke, and I was there to lead a German sales team. Thankfully, they spoke English quite well, but I was determined to learn German. I listened to everyone speaking German all day and studied the language for hours every evening. A few weeks in, I found myself sobbing in the shower. EVERYTHING about my life was new and challenging. I did NOT want to leave, so I psyched myself up by choosing to revel in all the challenges … “like a pig in mud,” I said, rebelliously. I knew that if I could hang in there for six months, I’d bust through. In hindsight, I see how much I thrived in these circumstances. They invited and challenged me to show up and be as strong and competent and capable as I truly am, AND allowed the EXPLORER in me (the archetype I relate to most of all) the freedom to journey to my hearts desire. By the end of the first month, the previously demoralized sales team successfully reached our first month’s advertising sales goal — a huge first step and morality boost for everyone … to be repeated again and again in the coming months.
One of my favorite things about living in Munich — in addition to the beauty, art, music, dance, food, and proximity to lakes and mountains — was how centrally located it is, with an incredible rail system giving me access to all of Europe. Most weekends, by myself, I got on a train and went someplace.
On my first trip, I learned the difference between 1st and 2nd class, by being scolded, loudly, in German, by the train conductor when I was in the wrong section and couldn’t understand what he was saying, while everyone else just blankly stared at me. Although I was mortified, lesson learned, and months later, when I could understand and speak some German, I was able to help others in this same situation.
I’m a walker and and hiker, so one my first adventures was going out towards the alps, to hike up to the top of a mountain, have a meal while enjoying the view, and take the gondola down. Walking up the mountain trail turned out to be like swimming upstream. Everyone else had taken the gondola lift up and was walking down, and many had seemingly judgmental opinions about my choice to do the opposite. I couldn’t understand a word so just smiled and said “Ich kann kein Deutsch” (I don’t speak German), to which one person frowned and responded in English, “But you are speaking German.” Come to find out, I have a good ear, and sounded surprisingly German when I spoke, so they were a little miffed.
A few weeks later I stepped it up and took a train to a 2nd-train to boat to an island to visit Schloss Herrenchiamsee, one of the castles of the “crazy King Ludvig,” inspired by the French Palace of Versailles. After returning from the island, I looked at the 2nd-train schedule and thought I had plenty of time to go for a swim before catching the last train back to the main train, but when I returned to the station, it was completely closed down and locked up, and everyone was gone. This was pre-internet, so no Google maps. After a brief panic, I ended up just walking along the train tracks to get back to the main station, where I was able to catch a late train back to Munich. I still think of this experience so often, because it helps me to get over fear of the unknown and trust that I will be able to figure it, when the time comes.
Over the course of three years, I helped many sales people to build skills and confidence and bring real value to the market. Several went on to even greater success leading their own tech businesses or becoming publishers of other magazines. I met beautiful people who became real friends and have stayed in touch via social media over more than 20 years. And I traveled … throughout Germany, and to many European cities including Berlin, Salzburg, Vienna, Prague, Budapest, Verona, Florence, Venice, Rome, Zurich, Paris, London, Dublin … and got to take six weeks to drive from Munich to the Mediterranean coast, along Italy, France and Spain, ultimately to Sevilla, with stops at many places in between. All of this travel remains as some of the best memories of my life.
I made the choice to move back to California to be closer to my parents, and sister at a time when it felt particularly important — and, in hindsight, to begin a treacherous transformational journey that I didn’t see coming. While I moved back to my “home town,” Munich was the place where I had felt more at home in my own skin than at any other time in my life … and where, I more recently have realized, I had left behind a part of my true Self.
Sure enough, going back to Munich for this milestone birthday felt like going home. Reactivating my German. Reconnecting with friends I hadn’t seen in a decade or two. Dropping back in to the Munich lifestyle in January in the snow with high temps of 20 degrees Fahrenheit. Revisiting meaningful places with my partner Bryan, my sister and dear friends who came into town from the Netherlands, during a train strike. Remembering what it felt like to be me in Munich in the 90s … the last place I lived before I stepped onto a slippery slope of taking my Self out. Realizing that Munich was the last place I had felt safe being me. Where I wasn’t too ambitious or too serious or too independent or too Selfish — true to my own Soul. Where I got to be happy, fulfilling my own needs, wants and dreams, abundantly, in ways that helped and allowed others to do the same. Where it was OK to feel good about my Self. Where I actually felt like I belonged, “standing out.” I went back to Munich to remember, retrieve and reintegrate these parts of my Self … and this part of the story of my life.
All of those original challenges I faced when I moved to Munich, had given me the opportunity to turn up the dial of my truest Self, without holding anything back, and this turned out to be the birthday gift I was ready to receive, again.